Implements of choice

In the early days of All Things Spanking (long before our recent hiatus), readers were asked: “When there’s a choice, other than the hand, what spanking implement do you prefer?”

With 124 people voting (some voted for multiple implements), the results were:

Wood paddle (36) or 24%
Hairbrush (33) 22%
Strap/belt (31) or 21%
Cane (19) or 13%
Leather paddle (12) or 8%
Tawse (8) or 5%
Switch (6) or 4%
None (5) or 3%

It’s interesting that the traditional percussion (impact) implements in the US (wood paddle and hairbrush) led the way along with the strap/belt. I would also suggest that the majority of voters were Tops. Just a hunch. Certainly any of the listed implements are effective when used “properly” and in the right hands.

An Interview with Strict Lady Cloe

Lady Cloe is a Swiss national who is now based in New York City. She has a successful professional career, and secondarily helps men as a “behavior modification specialist” who administers discipline. Lady Cloe also spanks women at events or parties. She is a creative event planner and also has taken acting classes. Her love and talent for role play evolved from these professional endeavors. All Things Spanking has communicated with Lady Cloe on many occasions. She is erudite about her disciplinary interests and quite capable of administering what is needed.

ATS: Thank you for taking the time to chat with us, Lady Cloe.

Lady Cloe: It’s my pleasure, and thank you for your interest as well.

ATS: What is your background story? How did you come to be interested in administering discipline and spankings?

Lady Cloe: I am a European Woman who grew up with a strict mother who administered a good sound correction to myself and my siblings.

ATS: Many people feel that a disciplinarian should know what each of their spanking implements feels like in actual use. Have you ever been spanked, and do you experience your “tools” before putting them to use?

Lady Cloe: Yes, indeed. I started as a bottom due to my strict mother. I know how most implements feel. Also, I think it’s imported for me to feel any new implements on myself first. I like to observe other disciplinarians’ techniques and styles. It’s a turn on, and I take what works for me.

I think having bottomed at one time brings more knowledge and understanding when applying OTK correction. It’s not only the physical part but the loving, disciplinary, mentoring skills necessary for you to use.

ATS: How long have you been active as a disciplinarian?

Lady Cloe: Over 15 years.

ATS: There are several different types of spanking such as judicial, punishment, maintenance, erotic. Which is your favorite, if any, and why? Do you administer all of them depending on circumstances and what the subject has earned?

Lady Cloe: Every OTK correction has its own story. For example, one might want to relive their past or discover a new interest. It depends on the recipient’s request and needs. I apply my judgment on what type to choose or to combine styles. It’s also a huge physiologic matter as to what someone can tolerate and their limits.

ATS: Is all of your work related to corporal punishment, or do you also practice broader aspects of BDSM? What might those interests be?

Lady Cloe: I truly believe in female supremacy and love forced feminization. I’m very creative in role play and great with makeup and hair, shopping, and selecting the right outfit for the “girls.”

ATS: Your website indicates that you have undertaken “a deep study of male psychology.” How specifically has that helped in your disciplinarian role? Could you give us an example?

Lady Cloe: To understand the male, one has to understand the situation that made him crave or want to be spanked. Only by communication can you gain that knowledge. I love reading about spanking and talking about the life history that led to someone loving or desiring an OTK correction.

ATS: A growing number of spankologists are taking their talents on the road, and travel quite a bit. You have traveled in the New England and Mid-Atlantic areas of the USA, and parts of Europe. Do you have plans to travel elsewhere?

Lady Cloe: Yes. I plan to travel to Australia, and other sites are always possible. Stay tuned.

ATS: The use of spanking as part of life coaching sessions has been a growing trend and one that your website indicates you also engage in. How has this been going, and how does it truly differ from a pure spanking session?

Lady Cloe: I adore helping a person when coaching them in a difficult situation, and knowing that they better themselves with work-related issues, health, or family. Getting that thank you note makes my day. I build a deep connection with that person and often develop good trust and friendship aside from the spanking interaction.

ATS: What is your favorite implement to spank with?

Lady Cloe: I love my traditional wooden paddles and hairbrushes. I get excited when I find a “new one” that has been used before and has history to it. Also, I have a very good, strong hand. I live for a good stern sound hand spanking, followed by a paddle or hairbrush

ATS: What is your favorite position?

Lady Cloe: Over my knee with a leg lock. Diaper position. Standing, bending forward, sticking that bum out. Any position where I can apply the power I possess to a deserving bottom.

ATS: Many of your posts on Twitter and elsewhere contain slogans or short poetic pieces addressing a playful spanking style. Could you share one with us?

Lady Cloe:

The Lady and the bottom
I might be old fashion
But it’s my passion
Right over my knee
Don’t you agree?
You will say okay.
It’s my chosen way.

ATS: Why do you do this? What do you like about administering a spanking?

Lady Cloe: To me, OTK is not about being erotic, but it’s mentoring and accountability. It requires a very dominant mind, a firm hand, and sometimes implements. It’s all about strong, firm, feminine guidance, and, caring. Safety for the spankee is always a concern, and building that trust is very important.

ATS: Where would interested parties find you online, Lady Cloe?

Lady Cloe: I am on Twitter as “OTK Paddled by Chloe” (@OtkStrict) and on FetLife. My website is http://strictladycloe.wix.com/punishment-pro-

ATS: Do you spank by phone?

Lady Cloe: No. I prefer real-time experience.

ATS: Thank you for agreeing to this interview, Lady Cloe. It has been a pleasure chatting with you.

How A Spanking Life Coach Does It – Part 2

Harriet Marwood is a respected and well-published NYC-based Disciplinarian and Spankologist. She focuses on spanking life coaching and related methods to help individuals achieve their stated goals. In 2012, Ms. Marwood published a series of articles in Wellred Weekly on spanking life coaching. With her permission, we presented Part 1 of her writing several days ago. We now post the second part.

A Spanking Life Coach (cont.)
by Harriet Marwood

On a related topic, some people who are on a successful track under their own steam, after a productive coaching program, like to “re-enlist” for a “tune-up” every so often. For one thing, they find the spanking component of the relationship a great stress reliever. People can often get complacent when things are going fine. That is when the weeds of misbehavior can start creeping back. After a long time of doing all the right stuff it’s helpful to shock the system, perhaps tweak the routine a bit, look for novel ways to continue those positive results instead of letting things fall into droning sameness… a wake-up call. Not to mention, it just feels good to many people to feel like they’re not in it alone. Not only do they have a stern taskmaster, but also someone who is rooting for them to do well.

The Spankings

The spankings in a Life Coaching Program are no nonsense! It’s not role-play. It’s not a game. They’re punishment. True, real life punishment. How and when would a coaching participant get a spanking? Well, here’s the way I work it:

At the initial intake visit, we sit and talk. I spend a substantial amount of time with most people at this point. I have them answer a questionnaire that I send them, which they are to bring along to our first meeting. It gets us started toward clarifying what their goals are and what has been getting in their way. Once I get a handle on what their obstacles are, I zero in on the right approach and I give them a manageable number of simple, incremental goals meant to generate a learning curve of better habits while making strides toward the ultimate goal. Keeping it simple is the key to success. If you promise to accomplish a few manageable tasks, it’s less likely you’ll feel the onerous resistance that has thwarted you in the past. Baby steps. I send them off with a to-do list that we agree is useful and inspiring. But before they go…

Before they go off to test their mettle, we adjourn to my little ‘spankatorium’ and I give them a taste of what awaits them if they don’t take their new commitment seriously. Prior to this, I have interviewed them and have a good knowledge of what degree of punishment they have endured in the past and what their limits are. This first “baseline” spanking is (a) for me to calibrate their tolerance level and (b) while not taking things to any extreme level, I make sure their spanking stings enough so that they remember that discipline hurts… enough to put a bit of healthy fear into them. This spanking is not the same type as a punishment spanking. That would defeat the purpose of that when they’ve done nothing yet to deserve such pain. The punishment has to fit the crime and if I start out thrashing them to high heaven, we have nowhere to go from there.

For many, spanking is also a reward. It fulfills some kind of emotional need and physiological or physical release. It can also provide catharsis from the frustration or self-judgment that some people carry for having failed at their attempts to get where they want to go. In this sense, spankos have an advantage over regular life coach participants. Where a conventional life coach can merely encourage and reason with a client, someone like myself has that secret weapon – the motivational value of which only the spanking enthusiast is intimately aware: the sharp sting of a hand, paddle, belt or tawse. It’s immediate, painful, and concrete. Logic and encouragement are nice, but when you know that, at the end of the day, if you did not get your work done you have to bend over and feel several dozen whacks on your bare bottom, most folks will cut the crap and get the work done!

Since every evaluation meeting ends with a spanking, spankos know that if they have done well, their spanking will be more like a play session. Although I will always end with a few sharp strokes to remind them what could happen if they slack off on their homework assignments. I find that most of my clients really want to improve their lives in the ways we set forth. It’s a paradox, but even though they love spanking, they still want to impress me with their hard work and get that approving “pat on the head” instead of a scolding and the harshest possible punishment. They also know that I am very capable of making a spanking much more than the emotional release or recreational fantasy that they love. I can make them really regret displeasing me. I can remind them why they want to go forth and prosper.

I have worked with highly successful people who are just way too busy, or simply very disorganized. I’ve worked with passive people who simply need someone else to light a fire under them and give them a kick in the pants every few weeks to keep that fire burning. I have to admit that my success rate has been astonishingly high, surprising even myself!

Over a year and a half period, I once helped a medical professional streamline, update and reorganize his office so that his staff no longer pull their hair out trying to keep him from log-jamming their daily operations. I continue to work with a fiction writer, making sure he meets the regular deadlines he’s responsible for. I have helped people improve their lifestyle habits and overall health, clean and organize their homes, lose weight, improve their relationship with their significant other… there is really no limit to what coaching can tackle. And with the right ‘motivational tools’ amazing things are possible.

Oh, I forgot to mention one other thing: Life Coaching is a relationship. My clients and I get to know one another pretty well and, while we both take its purpose seriously, I make sure that we still manage to have a good time in the process. Getting what you want is very satisfying, even if it comes with an occasionally sore rear end!

An interview with Disciplinarian Juliette

For many years before going offline a few months ago, All Things Spanking conducted interviews with interesting and reputable Disciplinarians and Spanking Life Coaches. We will continue that process with the re-launched blog.

To get the ball rolling, we re-post the interview granted to us by  Miss Juliette who is a Los Angeles-based Spanker. She recently agreed to chat with us, and we are so pleased that she did. Erudite, well-spoken, and quite adept at delivering the type and severity of spanking required in any situation, Miss Juliette opened our eyes to many things. And, yes, “Juliette” has an “e” at the end despite the space-mandated truncation imposed by FetLife where it appears as “Juliett.” As Miss Juliette said to me, ” … It has gotten many a young man like yourself in some trouble. All Things Spanking’s advice: ” Don’t forget that “e” … or do forget it! Be careful what you wish for.”

You may read more about Miss Juliette or contact her via her FetLIfe site or email.

ATS: You have stated that you consider yourself a “therapist of sorts.” Many disciplinarians are now becoming involved in “life coaching with a twist.” This is a growing segment of our community. Could you comment on how that is done and received by the client? Are most clients receptive to this, and do they respond well? Are the issues being addressed generally corrected?

Juliette: Every situation is different, but generally speaking:

  1. The client has goals. A to-do list is generated from those goals. Some goals are huge like “Get healthy” and others are a one item to-do list.
  2. Disciplinarian holds the client accountable for those goals. This involves communication, scheduling meetings, and updates.
  3. The severity of the discipline is married to the success of achieving those goals.

Everyone can benefit from having a coach. The world’s top achievers have coaches. As a life coach, I don’t always tell you what to do, but I do expect you to stay accountable for the goals that you set for yourself. As humans, we all have a need to progress, to create meaning in our lives. My meaning is helping people succeed, and helping them correct course when they don’t.

ATS: Is your enjoyment for administering real discipline connected to the coaching? What is it about this aspect of spanking that attracts you?

Juliette: It’s the connection that I crave. There’s a give and take that can only happen during an OTK spanking.

ATS: You lead the FetLife group Professional Disciplinarians and Life Coaches. How is this going? Are Disciplinarians and clients better able to communicate and share ideas given this group?

Juliette: It’s going great, but I’d like to see more involvement from the client side. I think most Disciplinarians are natural communicators.

ATS: Like you, I grew up in the South where spanking was part of the culture, and expected. Aside from spanking friends as a kid, what other things did you do to engage or entertain your interest?

Juliette: There are things to do other than spanking?

ATS: Fair enough, Miss Juliette. You began honing your skills at a young age. Moving on now. There are many positions in which to place a spankee to access the “target.” Which are your favorites? Why?

Juliette: OTK is my favorite. I like the connection and feedback I get from that. However, it’s limiting in terms of leverage. So, I will often sit upon a squirmy spankee, which tends to keep them in line. I’ve also been known to grapevine legs to keep them exactly where I want them. One of my favorite positions involves placing the spankee’s head between my calves, with the bottom raised high in the air. It’s a very submissive position to be in, and difficult to maintain. It’s not for everyone. In fact, I use it sparingly. It’s a privilege I’ve only offered a select few.

ATS: What are your favorite implements?

Juliette: I prefer wood above all else. It’s hard, unyielding and predictable.

ATS: For sure, Miss Juliette. A good spanking with a wooden implement leaves no doubt.

Many enthusiasts believe that a disciplinarian should know what each implement feels like, and experience a spanking with it. Although you are strictly a spanker, have you felt your implements? Could you elaborate on why or why not?

Juliette: I think that’s absurd. Does a heart surgeon need to have a heart attack to know how to operate? Does a therapist need to experience every form of tragedy to coach a client through theirs? Of course not. What a disciplinarian needs are a basic understanding of human anatomy, especially the specific location of kidneys, tailbones, and the difference between hip flesh and butt flesh. She needs a basic understanding of physics; where to stand when delivering a paddling to ensure even application. How a cane works. How to hold a belt to keep it from whipping around and bruising hip flesh, or heaven forbid, hip bone. She needs a certain amount of physical stamina to lift her arm over and over and over again for each individual swat, especially for an OTK spanking, where gravity is not on her side. She needs to be observant, to see if her spankee is in the right emotional state. She needs to be a good listener because every client is a different person with different needs. And most importantly, she needs a heightened state of self-awareness. No two clients receive the same spanking, but I still spank the way I want to. It’s a balancing act between my needs and their needs. A disciplinarian has to know when to finish a spanking, a session, or an arrangement.

ATS: Have you done videos? Any plans to do so? Where might one see or obtain these?

Juliette: Ha! You wish. No videos. Never. My privacy and that of my clients is of utmost importance to me. Perhaps you think all sessions are ” Whack, Splat, Thanks for that” (I just made that up right now. Yes, I’m a genius). I have a few clients, many of whom are high profile, who book me for days on end, or longer. Now, don’t go getting any funny ideas, it’s just spanking, talking and eating. The last thing my clients need is to be seen at a restaurant with a well-known Disciplinarian. They can introduce me to their friends, colleagues, or what-have-you, with complete confidence that their privacy will remain just that.

ATS: Do you travel away from your home to spank? Where do you go? Any plans to do so?

Juliette: I LOVE to travel. I have a few clients around world who fly me here and there for some proper discipline. I’ve been all over, but Dallas, Vegas, and Chicago tend to be my hot spots. I have plans to head to Kentucky for the first time coming up. I want to be clear about the fact that I don’t accept sessions with everyone who solicits me. I have a very narrow set of interests, and no amount of money will entice me to bow my boundaries. Having said that, I have been known to offer discounts and even prepaid block sessions to those who have financial need, and show a commitment to improvement. I figure if we BOTH invest in your success, then we both succeed.

ATS: Do you remember the first adult spankings you gave? What were they like? Could you tell us about them?

Juliette: I do. They were epic. Tears and recriminations, and millions upon millions of encores.

ATS: Do your family and vanilla friends know what you do, and what do they think of it?

Juliette: The majority of my friends and family do. My mother – she is so funny. First, she’s a stunner. Beautiful, smart, and sweet. She suspected I was doing something off the beaten path (so to speak!), but had no idea what. She sat me down and told me she was a flower child and didn’t mind if I was making love for money. Now normally I get really offended when someone calls me a whore, but Mama is a charmer. So after I dried my tears of mirth and thanked for the belly laugh, I explained to her that I am a Disciplinarian, which is kind of like a dominatrix, but without all that annoying leather and horse whips. In fact, I told her, I bill myself as a “rent-a-mom”.
As years went by, I was happy to indulge her curiosity. Finally, one coffee date, not too long ago, she told me a story about her short stint as a professional Disciplinarian. She was a taxi driver, back in the day, and a fare offered her an enormous sum of money to cap the trip off with a spanking at his place. Mama’s an open-minded soul, so she gave it a try. I have never been prouder of my Mama.

ATS: What do you like about spanking? Dislike?

Juliette: Everything. Nothing. I don’t think I understand the question. What is there to dislike about spanking? Other than it really makes me hungry afterward. Hence the “no pictures/video rule” because I have to eat, and I prefer to eat without random strangers begging me for spankings. Which they would if they ever saw my face. I just have a face that makes people want to be spanked.

ATS: Is all of your work related to corporal punishment, or do you also practice broader aspects of BDSM? What might those interests be?

Juliette: I’m not into BDSM. I do, however, love a good foot massage, and I also have a few cuties who come clean my house and wash my car for me. It’s been a while, but I’ve had a few transitioning clients. The focus with them is on spanking, but with different goals. Although, now that you bring it up, I look really good in leather pants. But I always wear a nice dress.

ATS: Miss Juliette, I imagine you look nice in anything you wear and are quite effective when administering a spanking in any of it. Again, interested parties may contact you via your FetLIfe site or email.

Thank you again for your graciousness in granting this interview. “Keep those paddles popping!”

The Paddle: Its Origin

Back in 2012, Slate Magazine published an online article by Forrest Wickman in BrowBeat entitled Paddling: A History. The article explores how the use of the paddle evolved over the years. It is an interesting read for any spanking aficionado especially those who relish applying the paddle or feeling its awesome sting.

I encourage you to read it.