Spanking Do’s and Don’ts

Zoë Ligon is a sex educator, writer, and artist residing in Brooklyn, NY. Her work primarily focuses on human sexuality, relationships, communication, and the pursuit of informed intimacy. Zoë recently published an article online at Refinery 29 related to her entree to the world of adult spanking and key points to bear in mind for tops and bottoms. We capsulize her observations below, and encourage you to link to the article for the full discussion.

Enjoy Being Spanked? Here’s What You Need To Know About Impact Play

… spanking and other forms of impact play can be intense and potentially dangerous, so it’s important that people don’t think you can just randomly hit your partner during sex — engaging in impact play involves adhering to a set of best practices that ensure that all acts are safe, pleasurable, and consensual. …

DO:

  • Negotiate consent and boundaries.
  • Choose a safe word.
  • Incorporate tools and toys if that turns you on.
  • Engage in “aftercare” once it’s all over.

DON’T:

  • Forget that the person getting hit should be in control.
  • Strike the wrong areas.
  • Blur the line between consensual spanking and abuse.
  • Be afraid to continue your BDSM sex education.
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