It is pretty clear that one of the basic tenets of any effective relationship is mutual respect. Not the only tenet, but certainly a key one. In the BDSM world (to include spanking), regardless of the level or nature of submission, Tops and bottoms must respect each other. I cannot submit my body and being to someone whom I neither respect nor am respected by them. Similarly, I must respect someone to top them. Without respect, the act is a meaningless charade. You may be into humiliation, but the element of respect must still be present to assure that emotional/psychological harm is not effected.
Mistress Matisse addressed very similar thoughts in today’s column on her site. The entire column is well worth a read. The following was excerpted.
… But it reminded me of a fundamental truth: some rules are the same for everyone. Whips hurt, whether you’re the top or the bottom. Emotional wounds hurt, too, no matter who you are. You can be a Gorean master, or a smart-ass masochist, or an old-school Mistress. But all those roles, and those aspects of who we are, mean nothing when it comes to basic ethics and integrity. The rules are the same there. Being kinky never exempts you from that. …
