An interview with Disciplinarian Juliette

For many years before going offline a few months ago, All Things Spanking conducted interviews with interesting and reputable Disciplinarians and Spanking Life Coaches. We will continue that process with the re-launched blog.

To get the ball rolling, we re-post the interview granted to us by  Miss Juliette who is a Los Angeles-based Spanker. She recently agreed to chat with us, and we are so pleased that she did. Erudite, well-spoken, and quite adept at delivering the type and severity of spanking required in any situation, Miss Juliette opened our eyes to many things. And, yes, “Juliette” has an “e” at the end despite the space-mandated truncation imposed by FetLife where it appears as “Juliett.” As Miss Juliette said to me, ” … It has gotten many a young man like yourself in some trouble. All Things Spanking’s advice: ” Don’t forget that “e” … or do forget it! Be careful what you wish for.”

You may read more about Miss Juliette or contact her via her FetLIfe site or email.

ATS: You have stated that you consider yourself a “therapist of sorts.” Many disciplinarians are now becoming involved in “life coaching with a twist.” This is a growing segment of our community. Could you comment on how that is done and received by the client? Are most clients receptive to this, and do they respond well? Are the issues being addressed generally corrected?

Juliette: Every situation is different, but generally speaking:

  1. The client has goals. A to-do list is generated from those goals. Some goals are huge like “Get healthy” and others are a one item to-do list.
  2. Disciplinarian holds the client accountable for those goals. This involves communication, scheduling meetings, and updates.
  3. The severity of the discipline is married to the success of achieving those goals.

Everyone can benefit from having a coach. The world’s top achievers have coaches. As a life coach, I don’t always tell you what to do, but I do expect you to stay accountable for the goals that you set for yourself. As humans, we all have a need to progress, to create meaning in our lives. My meaning is helping people succeed, and helping them correct course when they don’t.

ATS: Is your enjoyment for administering real discipline connected to the coaching? What is it about this aspect of spanking that attracts you?

Juliette: It’s the connection that I crave. There’s a give and take that can only happen during an OTK spanking.

ATS: You lead the FetLife group Professional Disciplinarians and Life Coaches. How is this going? Are Disciplinarians and clients better able to communicate and share ideas given this group?

Juliette: It’s going great, but I’d like to see more involvement from the client side. I think most Disciplinarians are natural communicators.

ATS: Like you, I grew up in the South where spanking was part of the culture, and expected. Aside from spanking friends as a kid, what other things did you do to engage or entertain your interest?

Juliette: There are things to do other than spanking?

ATS: Fair enough, Miss Juliette. You began honing your skills at a young age. Moving on now. There are many positions in which to place a spankee to access the “target.” Which are your favorites? Why?

Juliette: OTK is my favorite. I like the connection and feedback I get from that. However, it’s limiting in terms of leverage. So, I will often sit upon a squirmy spankee, which tends to keep them in line. I’ve also been known to grapevine legs to keep them exactly where I want them. One of my favorite positions involves placing the spankee’s head between my calves, with the bottom raised high in the air. It’s a very submissive position to be in, and difficult to maintain. It’s not for everyone. In fact, I use it sparingly. It’s a privilege I’ve only offered a select few.

ATS: What are your favorite implements?

Juliette: I prefer wood above all else. It’s hard, unyielding and predictable.

ATS: For sure, Miss Juliette. A good spanking with a wooden implement leaves no doubt.

Many enthusiasts believe that a disciplinarian should know what each implement feels like, and experience a spanking with it. Although you are strictly a spanker, have you felt your implements? Could you elaborate on why or why not?

Juliette: I think that’s absurd. Does a heart surgeon need to have a heart attack to know how to operate? Does a therapist need to experience every form of tragedy to coach a client through theirs? Of course not. What a disciplinarian needs are a basic understanding of human anatomy, especially the specific location of kidneys, tailbones, and the difference between hip flesh and butt flesh. She needs a basic understanding of physics; where to stand when delivering a paddling to ensure even application. How a cane works. How to hold a belt to keep it from whipping around and bruising hip flesh, or heaven forbid, hip bone. She needs a certain amount of physical stamina to lift her arm over and over and over again for each individual swat, especially for an OTK spanking, where gravity is not on her side. She needs to be observant, to see if her spankee is in the right emotional state. She needs to be a good listener because every client is a different person with different needs. And most importantly, she needs a heightened state of self-awareness. No two clients receive the same spanking, but I still spank the way I want to. It’s a balancing act between my needs and their needs. A disciplinarian has to know when to finish a spanking, a session, or an arrangement.

ATS: Have you done videos? Any plans to do so? Where might one see or obtain these?

Juliette: Ha! You wish. No videos. Never. My privacy and that of my clients is of utmost importance to me. Perhaps you think all sessions are ” Whack, Splat, Thanks for that” (I just made that up right now. Yes, I’m a genius). I have a few clients, many of whom are high profile, who book me for days on end, or longer. Now, don’t go getting any funny ideas, it’s just spanking, talking and eating. The last thing my clients need is to be seen at a restaurant with a well-known Disciplinarian. They can introduce me to their friends, colleagues, or what-have-you, with complete confidence that their privacy will remain just that.

ATS: Do you travel away from your home to spank? Where do you go? Any plans to do so?

Juliette: I LOVE to travel. I have a few clients around world who fly me here and there for some proper discipline. I’ve been all over, but Dallas, Vegas, and Chicago tend to be my hot spots. I have plans to head to Kentucky for the first time coming up. I want to be clear about the fact that I don’t accept sessions with everyone who solicits me. I have a very narrow set of interests, and no amount of money will entice me to bow my boundaries. Having said that, I have been known to offer discounts and even prepaid block sessions to those who have financial need, and show a commitment to improvement. I figure if we BOTH invest in your success, then we both succeed.

ATS: Do you remember the first adult spankings you gave? What were they like? Could you tell us about them?

Juliette: I do. They were epic. Tears and recriminations, and millions upon millions of encores.

ATS: Do your family and vanilla friends know what you do, and what do they think of it?

Juliette: The majority of my friends and family do. My mother – she is so funny. First, she’s a stunner. Beautiful, smart, and sweet. She suspected I was doing something off the beaten path (so to speak!), but had no idea what. She sat me down and told me she was a flower child and didn’t mind if I was making love for money. Now normally I get really offended when someone calls me a whore, but Mama is a charmer. So after I dried my tears of mirth and thanked for the belly laugh, I explained to her that I am a Disciplinarian, which is kind of like a dominatrix, but without all that annoying leather and horse whips. In fact, I told her, I bill myself as a “rent-a-mom”.
As years went by, I was happy to indulge her curiosity. Finally, one coffee date, not too long ago, she told me a story about her short stint as a professional Disciplinarian. She was a taxi driver, back in the day, and a fare offered her an enormous sum of money to cap the trip off with a spanking at his place. Mama’s an open-minded soul, so she gave it a try. I have never been prouder of my Mama.

ATS: What do you like about spanking? Dislike?

Juliette: Everything. Nothing. I don’t think I understand the question. What is there to dislike about spanking? Other than it really makes me hungry afterward. Hence the “no pictures/video rule” because I have to eat, and I prefer to eat without random strangers begging me for spankings. Which they would if they ever saw my face. I just have a face that makes people want to be spanked.

ATS: Is all of your work related to corporal punishment, or do you also practice broader aspects of BDSM? What might those interests be?

Juliette: I’m not into BDSM. I do, however, love a good foot massage, and I also have a few cuties who come clean my house and wash my car for me. It’s been a while, but I’ve had a few transitioning clients. The focus with them is on spanking, but with different goals. Although, now that you bring it up, I look really good in leather pants. But I always wear a nice dress.

ATS: Miss Juliette, I imagine you look nice in anything you wear and are quite effective when administering a spanking in any of it. Again, interested parties may contact you via your FetLIfe site or email.

Thank you again for your graciousness in granting this interview. “Keep those paddles popping!”

Mitch’s Story: Learning what it is all about

Continuing with the saga of how I came to be who I am in this community, I present part 2. Enjoy!

My prior discourse addressed my maturation from a naive kid to a young adult who recognized that he was not alone in this big world with spanking thoughts. But, what to do about it? Well, I became aware of a kinky group in my city that held weekly educational meetings. For two weeks I paced up and down the sidewalk observing the “crazies” who entered for the meeting. What kind of books was they?

By the end of my stakeout on week two, it was evident that the kooks were no different than me. They wore jeans, slacks, dresses, suits, whatever depending on where they were coming from. They looked like the folks I saw every day in the office, around my neighborhood, shopping. Hmmm … maybe this was not so far out.

I nervously entered the meeting hall on week three to be greeted by several very nice people who made me feel at home and explained the purpose of the meetings. I mentioned that spanking was my main interest, and they said that was perfectly normal. In fact, the meeting that evening was on Victorian Discipline focusing on corporal punishment complete with a demonstration. I must have looked like a deer in headlights as they chuckled and showed me to a seat.

After a few obligatory announcements, the educational part started with two gentlemen walking down the aisle followed by two women holding paddles and hairbrushes. The women explained the basics of a “proper” spanking, where to spank and where not to, potential dangers, etc. It was all new to me at the time as I had thought that simply blasting one’s bum was all it took. It truly does take great skill and knowledge to know what to do.

Once the women had explained the parameters of spanking, they did indeed redden the two bottoms. Starting first over jeans, then underwear, and finally bare. It seemed like a thorough thrashing at the time to my newbie eyes. but in retrospect was likely not much more than a warm-up. This was a demo after all.

I became fully hooked at that meeting and was especially happy to learn that the group had a spanking/corporal punishment section that met on a separate evening. Stay tuned for that in our next chapter.

To be continued …

Mea Culpa

It was late at night and I was tired and bleary-eyed. You got it? And that is why I typed a wrong email in the contact field of the margin.

It has been corrected. Do I need to be?

Anyway – if you sent me an email over the last several days using the erroneous email, could I please ask that you retransmit it?

Many thanks!

How A Spanking Life Coach Does It – Part 1

Harriet Marwood is a respected and well-published NYC-based Disciplinarian and Spankologist. She focuses on spanking life coaching and related methods to help individuals achieve their stated goals. In 2012, Ms. Marwood published a series of articles in Wellred Weekly on spanking life coaching. With her permission, we present the first of those pieces here and will soon post the second part.

 

A Spanking Life Coach
by Harriet Marwood

I was chatting with a client of mine one evening a long while ago, and he started rambling on about the current popularity of “Life Coaching”. He suggested that with my “motivational talents” and my background in NLP and other psychologically based models I should offer a special curriculum for those who want to put some aspect of their life in better order. I pondered why I hadn’t thought of it myself? Then I realized: I had. I have been a spanking life coach for over ten years. I just never put a label on it.

When I accidentally stumbled into my vocation as a Domestic Disciplinarian many years ago I made a commitment to myself that I would engage with each person as the unique individual he or she is. Consequently, I became versed in many styles and approaches to discipline. As those people came to me, one at a time, we’d talk about their needs and desires and together we’d create the type of adventure we’d have together. Some wanted to play the role of a naughty child to my adult authority figure, being taken to task for some school infraction or household mischief. Some wanted to re-live a childhood memory. Many invented completely unique fantasies from which I got to make discoveries of my own. And some needed no pretense to be bent over my lap or my saddle rack and thrashed soundly with hand, paddle, strap, cane, or what-have-you. Just for the joy or pain of it. Or both.

But many people, male and female alike, came to me because (a) they were already spanking enthusiasts, and (b) they knew the motivational (and therapeutic) value of a good old-fashioned walloping on the bare behind! They wanted help tackling real life issues in self-organization or self-discipline that they had tried mightily to conquer on their own, too many times for them count, but could never seem to master. I sat with them for a long time while they talked and searched and groped for yet another bit of insight to crack the code of this problem. As they spoke I started watching their patterns unravel and demonstrate the limiting and self-sabotaging behaviors that brought forth the same unconscious, repetitious obstacles that foiled every plan that was earnestly made. I knew how to help. And these brave souls wanted help. At their request, we collaborated on a viable game plan of incremental goal-setting with the intention of conquering some over-arching problem over time. We mutually agreed on the steps of the plan and the appropriate interval of evaluation and supervision. And they each knew, that at the end of every interval they had to report to me, in person, and based on their results, receive a spanking of greater or lesser degree.

For some people, all it takes is knowing they’re accountable to someone else to get them to shape up. On their own they will default to habits of excuses and procrastination. But if they have to confess their progress to an authority figure, they can no longer hide behind those things. These are people who can and do get things done. Busy people who usually take on more than they should and, once committed, end up losing track of all the balls they’re juggling. When I work with such people, people who are accustomed to planning and taking action, they understand exactly what to do. They also understand what it feels like to endure the business end of a hairbrush, strap or paddle. Since they are accustomed to working a plan, this painful threat sets them in motion and generally they don’t require any interim supervision. We set up appropriate intervals for incremental evaluation. They report back each week, or every two weeks or once a month and prove their progress (or lack thereof). If they have fallen short, a good sound dose of the strap or cane seems to effectively get them back on track. It’s rare that this type of person falls into entropy.

Then there are the people who, bless their hearts, sincerely want to alter their behavior toward a more productive, satisfying course, but are just not naturally geared that way like the first type. They may be inclined to second guess themselves a lot, causing stress, which after a point, causes them to revert to avoidance via procrastination or distractions. They may be the type who over-think and over complicate everything, thus creating plans that overwhelm them before they even get a chance to start. That is a recipe for destruction. And distraction! These people benefit from an authority figure that breaks down their goals into simple, digestible incremental chunks. And then of course they have to execute those simple tasks… or else.

Some people are just not terribly self-motivated. They are pleasure-or comfort-seekers who will opt for the path of least resistance rather than for what they perceive as something difficult or time-consuming or challenging… even though once they tackle it they realize it’s not nearly as hard or unpleasant as they projected it to be. This is the type of person who usually requires a lot of interim oversight. I will frequently need to “stalk” such types – meaning that I will call, text or email them at random… just when they’re starting to think: Hey, no one will know if I skip this task. Or… It won’t really matter if I put off doing the set-up for this next project… etc., etc. Having to keep focused and make an accounting of their progress helps keep the fire burning under their feet. I also remind them of how much they dislike the consequences of not completing their assignments when they report me in the near future. Keeping our connection ever-present seems to be key to helping them take themselves and their plan seriously. The good news is that, over time, and with my often stinging “incentives” encouraging them to do well, they actually develop new, more productive habits that empower themselves to move forward without me.

But even when someone is self-motivated, and generally responsible and productive, anyone can fall prey to outside influences. For example, when people go on a vacation, it can prove difficult to resume their good habits, especially if they have not been rooted in them for very long. Also, a life change, such as a new job, a divorce, meeting a new love interest, etc., can throw a monkey-wrench into the works. That is why having a stern disciplinary consultant looking over their shoulder can be so invaluable. My coaching clients know that when their positive results start declining, they have someone who will not only call this to account, but will work with them to root out the reasons and devise mutually agreed upon steps to set things back on track. Nothing falls through the cracks or gets too far off track for very long. Once progress starts to veer too far off the rails, that is when resignation sets in and people start to revert to the path of least resistance. Anyone who’s ever been relatively fit and then starts putting on weight can relate to this. If you take the bull by the horns when the extra 5 or 8 pounds show up, you have far more motivation and more confidence to set things right. If you wait until you have to try and lose 30 or 40 pounds, you feel defeated before you start. I make sure that no one is allowed to reach this sad state of affairs.

to be continued…

Mitch’s Story: In the beginning … I wondered

From time-to-time, I will post autobiographical material related to my journey into “this thing we do.” This is the first such post. Enjoy!

When I was growing up, there was no internet. Not quite the stone ages, mind you, but not the information age either. I had an interest in spanking for as far back as I can remember, and thought I was crazy or the world’s biggest pervert. After all, nice people didn’t do such things … did they? At least, that is what society said.

I sneaked around as a teen often visiting the library both for school work and to read passages in many books about spanking and corporal punishment (CP). It did help me learn the Dewey Decimal System as I had to find all the books with subjects related to “this thing we do (TTWD)” … judicial CP, school related, the history of various CP methods, implements, on and on.

Later, many magazines like Penthouse and Variations (a Penthouse publication) included “letters to the editor” about various subjects including spanking. The “letters” were always extremely well written. Hmmmmm, did others have the same fantasies as me? And, they engaged in this practice? Were these letters for real? Many were likely conjured up but were entertaining. Perhaps I was not pervy.

Other publications were available in adult bookstores. These were usually produced on newsprint with newspaper ink of varying colors. It was punishment enough to wash the multi-colored ink off your hands before it transferred to your clothes, furniture, or whatever. However, these publications were more evidence that I was not alone with my thoughts.

Still an unspanked adult, the final straw to convince me that I was more normal than not was the realization that all those publications, paddles, articles, ads, etc. were not produced just hoping that I and only I would happen along to buy them. So, I decided to do something about the “never spanked” part of this., but that is a tale (tail?) for another day.

To be continued …

One way or another you will take charge of yourself

Georgia Cane is from New York and is a no-nonsense Disciplinarian who is strict yet undeniably fair. She expects folks to honor their commitments to themselves, to her, and/or to whoever else they encounter, or consequences ensue.

In 2017, Miss Cane posted an article on her blog Georgia Cane Spanking Disciplinarian relating to taking charge. We feel that Miss Cane’s words are on-point to what many seek, and we proudly post them here with her permission.

Spanking Discipline Is Taking Charge
by: Georgia Cane (NYC)

For a while, I felt strongly I’d said all about spanking I needed to say. I was wrong. Whether it is role play, age regression or addressing issues which are disrupting or hindering your life, seeking Spanking Discipline is about one thing and one thing only; taking charge. By that I mean YOU are taking charge of your life.

Just as doctors don’t heal themselves, we can’t be objective enough to see ourselves clearly; and when it comes to corporal punishment or strict behavioral correction, trust me that, no matter how determined you may be, you will not go much beyond the comfort zone. Even in role play of any kind, you must be seen through the eyes of an authority who appreciates and fully participates in the experience. A disciplinarian must key into both what’s said and, more importantly, what’s unsaid.

Focus and respect are key to ending self-destructive patterns of behavior – from procrastination to abuse – or for some, to clearly revisit the crux of a profound, life-directing event either left unaddressed or which held you in good stead.

In essence, spanking discipline is self-discipline. One must cede control to a mature and savvy authority but one who will not suffer foolishness nor excuse wrong behavior but instead holds you accountable and makes you feel the consequences of wrongdoing.

That way the penalty is paid, your conscience is clear. You’re left with a renewed energy, a cleared head, a clean slate, and a nicely burning bottom. And that’s what it means to take charge.

Warm Bottoms,
Georgia Cane

The Paddle: Its Origin

Back in 2012, Slate Magazine published an online article by Forrest Wickman in BrowBeat entitled Paddling: A History. The article explores how the use of the paddle evolved over the years. It is an interesting read for any spanking aficionado especially those who relish applying the paddle or feeling its awesome sting.

I encourage you to read it.