Implements of choice

In the early days of All Things Spanking (long before our recent hiatus), readers were asked: “When there’s a choice, other than the hand, what spanking implement do you prefer?”

With 124 people voting (some voted for multiple implements), the results were:

Wood paddle (36) or 24%
Hairbrush (33) 22%
Strap/belt (31) or 21%
Cane (19) or 13%
Leather paddle (12) or 8%
Tawse (8) or 5%
Switch (6) or 4%
None (5) or 3%

It’s interesting that the traditional percussion (impact) implements in the US (wood paddle and hairbrush) led the way along with the strap/belt. I would also suggest that the majority of voters were Tops. Just a hunch. Certainly any of the listed implements are effective when used “properly” and in the right hands.

We all must start

Jessica Wakeman is a NY-based writer who originally posted an article entitled “First Time For Everything: A Spanking Party”  for The Frisky in 2012. It chronicles her experience attending an exclusive New York party. The piece was recently re-posted by Wendy Stokes also on The Frisky.  Link to read it all.

Via The Frisky

Thank you …

… for helping to get the relaunched All Things Spanking off and running to a great start. Readership has steadily increased and your support is most appreciated. Let’s shoot for the moon. A continual upward reader count. Keep those cards and letters coming as they say, and always “Keep those paddles popping!”

Therapy Spanking: A Discussion

On August 4, 2017, Gigi Engle posted an article on Marie Claire that speaks to the convergence of therapeutic and erotic spanking. While the focus of this blog tends away from the erotic aspects, we clearly recognize that an element of eroticism exists in many spankings. Bare bottoms, especially OTK, suggest that for some. Many celebrate spanking for its cathartic, punitive, therapeutic, whatever elements to the exclusion of eroticism. Regardless of your need and perspective, we all enjoy something about this thing we do.

This article is an interesting read, and I encourage you to follow the title link and read it all.

7 Things You Didn’t Know About “Spanking Therapy

… It feels like being dropped into an ice bath and then wrapped in a warm towel: Shocking at first, unpleasant even, but overall quite soothing. …

Driving is serious business

This woman is going to learn the hard way that back seat driving is a “no-no.” At least that was my first impression upon seeing this photo on Au Fil Des Jours. Upon running a translator, however, the caption suggests she may have been speeding. Regardless of her indiscretion, her bottom will soon read like a traffic signal: “Red Means Stop!”

Therapeutic Spanking: One Person’s View

On September 1, 2016, Dr. Discipline posted a thought-provoking piece entitled A guide to giving Therapeutic Spankings for couples on his blog Luvs Spanking. We post the opening paragraphs and urge you to link here to read the entire article.

I wrote the comment below on my post ‘For couples seeking spanking’ on 10/29/2009 in response to a question from a reader as to why I wrote that punishment and discipline were different.

“Punishment is for specific events and is meant to hurt both physically and mentally. Punishment is a price paid for making an error in judgment despite and in spite of knowing the consequences for misbehaving. Punishment is not the result of bratting however [unless specified in a contract]. Discipline is best recognized in the sense of achievement. As in ‘she was disciplined enough to run a marathon’, ‘meditating took self-discipline’, ‘not eating all the muffins was a sign of a disciplined mind’. Discipline is an incentive, a reward, a motivation to do better in very detailed goals. They can be goals based on relationships, personal or spiritual growth, professional career, the list is endless. The key is how those involved feel. If you feel punished, then you were punished. If you feel disciplined, then you were disciplined. It’s all in the perspective: bottoms up or hands down.”

One category of spankings I didn’t include though was therapeutic spankings. Some may argue that therapy spankings fall under discipline or maintenance but for the purposes of this post I will consider them to be separate. …

An Interview with Strict Lady Cloe

Lady Cloe is a Swiss national who is now based in New York City. She has a successful professional career, and secondarily helps men as a “behavior modification specialist” who administers discipline. Lady Cloe also spanks women at events or parties. She is a creative event planner and also has taken acting classes. Her love and talent for role play evolved from these professional endeavors. All Things Spanking has communicated with Lady Cloe on many occasions. She is erudite about her disciplinary interests and quite capable of administering what is needed.

ATS: Thank you for taking the time to chat with us, Lady Cloe.

Lady Cloe: It’s my pleasure, and thank you for your interest as well.

ATS: What is your background story? How did you come to be interested in administering discipline and spankings?

Lady Cloe: I am a European Woman who grew up with a strict mother who administered a good sound correction to myself and my siblings.

ATS: Many people feel that a disciplinarian should know what each of their spanking implements feels like in actual use. Have you ever been spanked, and do you experience your “tools” before putting them to use?

Lady Cloe: Yes, indeed. I started as a bottom due to my strict mother. I know how most implements feel. Also, I think it’s imported for me to feel any new implements on myself first. I like to observe other disciplinarians’ techniques and styles. It’s a turn on, and I take what works for me.

I think having bottomed at one time brings more knowledge and understanding when applying OTK correction. It’s not only the physical part but the loving, disciplinary, mentoring skills necessary for you to use.

ATS: How long have you been active as a disciplinarian?

Lady Cloe: Over 15 years.

ATS: There are several different types of spanking such as judicial, punishment, maintenance, erotic. Which is your favorite, if any, and why? Do you administer all of them depending on circumstances and what the subject has earned?

Lady Cloe: Every OTK correction has its own story. For example, one might want to relive their past or discover a new interest. It depends on the recipient’s request and needs. I apply my judgment on what type to choose or to combine styles. It’s also a huge physiologic matter as to what someone can tolerate and their limits.

ATS: Is all of your work related to corporal punishment, or do you also practice broader aspects of BDSM? What might those interests be?

Lady Cloe: I truly believe in female supremacy and love forced feminization. I’m very creative in role play and great with makeup and hair, shopping, and selecting the right outfit for the “girls.”

ATS: Your website indicates that you have undertaken “a deep study of male psychology.” How specifically has that helped in your disciplinarian role? Could you give us an example?

Lady Cloe: To understand the male, one has to understand the situation that made him crave or want to be spanked. Only by communication can you gain that knowledge. I love reading about spanking and talking about the life history that led to someone loving or desiring an OTK correction.

ATS: A growing number of spankologists are taking their talents on the road, and travel quite a bit. You have traveled in the New England and Mid-Atlantic areas of the USA, and parts of Europe. Do you have plans to travel elsewhere?

Lady Cloe: Yes. I plan to travel to Australia, and other sites are always possible. Stay tuned.

ATS: The use of spanking as part of life coaching sessions has been a growing trend and one that your website indicates you also engage in. How has this been going, and how does it truly differ from a pure spanking session?

Lady Cloe: I adore helping a person when coaching them in a difficult situation, and knowing that they better themselves with work-related issues, health, or family. Getting that thank you note makes my day. I build a deep connection with that person and often develop good trust and friendship aside from the spanking interaction.

ATS: What is your favorite implement to spank with?

Lady Cloe: I love my traditional wooden paddles and hairbrushes. I get excited when I find a “new one” that has been used before and has history to it. Also, I have a very good, strong hand. I live for a good stern sound hand spanking, followed by a paddle or hairbrush

ATS: What is your favorite position?

Lady Cloe: Over my knee with a leg lock. Diaper position. Standing, bending forward, sticking that bum out. Any position where I can apply the power I possess to a deserving bottom.

ATS: Many of your posts on Twitter and elsewhere contain slogans or short poetic pieces addressing a playful spanking style. Could you share one with us?

Lady Cloe:

The Lady and the bottom
I might be old fashion
But it’s my passion
Right over my knee
Don’t you agree?
You will say okay.
It’s my chosen way.

ATS: Why do you do this? What do you like about administering a spanking?

Lady Cloe: To me, OTK is not about being erotic, but it’s mentoring and accountability. It requires a very dominant mind, a firm hand, and sometimes implements. It’s all about strong, firm, feminine guidance, and, caring. Safety for the spankee is always a concern, and building that trust is very important.

ATS: Where would interested parties find you online, Lady Cloe?

Lady Cloe: I am on Twitter as “OTK Paddled by Chloe” (@OtkStrict) and on FetLife. My website is http://strictladycloe.wix.com/punishment-pro-

ATS: Do you spank by phone?

Lady Cloe: No. I prefer real-time experience.

ATS: Thank you for agreeing to this interview, Lady Cloe. It has been a pleasure chatting with you.

How A Spanking Life Coach Does It – Part 2

Harriet Marwood is a respected and well-published NYC-based Disciplinarian and Spankologist. She focuses on spanking life coaching and related methods to help individuals achieve their stated goals. In 2012, Ms. Marwood published a series of articles in Wellred Weekly on spanking life coaching. With her permission, we presented Part 1 of her writing several days ago. We now post the second part.

A Spanking Life Coach (cont.)
by Harriet Marwood

On a related topic, some people who are on a successful track under their own steam, after a productive coaching program, like to “re-enlist” for a “tune-up” every so often. For one thing, they find the spanking component of the relationship a great stress reliever. People can often get complacent when things are going fine. That is when the weeds of misbehavior can start creeping back. After a long time of doing all the right stuff it’s helpful to shock the system, perhaps tweak the routine a bit, look for novel ways to continue those positive results instead of letting things fall into droning sameness… a wake-up call. Not to mention, it just feels good to many people to feel like they’re not in it alone. Not only do they have a stern taskmaster, but also someone who is rooting for them to do well.

The Spankings

The spankings in a Life Coaching Program are no nonsense! It’s not role-play. It’s not a game. They’re punishment. True, real life punishment. How and when would a coaching participant get a spanking? Well, here’s the way I work it:

At the initial intake visit, we sit and talk. I spend a substantial amount of time with most people at this point. I have them answer a questionnaire that I send them, which they are to bring along to our first meeting. It gets us started toward clarifying what their goals are and what has been getting in their way. Once I get a handle on what their obstacles are, I zero in on the right approach and I give them a manageable number of simple, incremental goals meant to generate a learning curve of better habits while making strides toward the ultimate goal. Keeping it simple is the key to success. If you promise to accomplish a few manageable tasks, it’s less likely you’ll feel the onerous resistance that has thwarted you in the past. Baby steps. I send them off with a to-do list that we agree is useful and inspiring. But before they go…

Before they go off to test their mettle, we adjourn to my little ‘spankatorium’ and I give them a taste of what awaits them if they don’t take their new commitment seriously. Prior to this, I have interviewed them and have a good knowledge of what degree of punishment they have endured in the past and what their limits are. This first “baseline” spanking is (a) for me to calibrate their tolerance level and (b) while not taking things to any extreme level, I make sure their spanking stings enough so that they remember that discipline hurts… enough to put a bit of healthy fear into them. This spanking is not the same type as a punishment spanking. That would defeat the purpose of that when they’ve done nothing yet to deserve such pain. The punishment has to fit the crime and if I start out thrashing them to high heaven, we have nowhere to go from there.

For many, spanking is also a reward. It fulfills some kind of emotional need and physiological or physical release. It can also provide catharsis from the frustration or self-judgment that some people carry for having failed at their attempts to get where they want to go. In this sense, spankos have an advantage over regular life coach participants. Where a conventional life coach can merely encourage and reason with a client, someone like myself has that secret weapon – the motivational value of which only the spanking enthusiast is intimately aware: the sharp sting of a hand, paddle, belt or tawse. It’s immediate, painful, and concrete. Logic and encouragement are nice, but when you know that, at the end of the day, if you did not get your work done you have to bend over and feel several dozen whacks on your bare bottom, most folks will cut the crap and get the work done!

Since every evaluation meeting ends with a spanking, spankos know that if they have done well, their spanking will be more like a play session. Although I will always end with a few sharp strokes to remind them what could happen if they slack off on their homework assignments. I find that most of my clients really want to improve their lives in the ways we set forth. It’s a paradox, but even though they love spanking, they still want to impress me with their hard work and get that approving “pat on the head” instead of a scolding and the harshest possible punishment. They also know that I am very capable of making a spanking much more than the emotional release or recreational fantasy that they love. I can make them really regret displeasing me. I can remind them why they want to go forth and prosper.

I have worked with highly successful people who are just way too busy, or simply very disorganized. I’ve worked with passive people who simply need someone else to light a fire under them and give them a kick in the pants every few weeks to keep that fire burning. I have to admit that my success rate has been astonishingly high, surprising even myself!

Over a year and a half period, I once helped a medical professional streamline, update and reorganize his office so that his staff no longer pull their hair out trying to keep him from log-jamming their daily operations. I continue to work with a fiction writer, making sure he meets the regular deadlines he’s responsible for. I have helped people improve their lifestyle habits and overall health, clean and organize their homes, lose weight, improve their relationship with their significant other… there is really no limit to what coaching can tackle. And with the right ‘motivational tools’ amazing things are possible.

Oh, I forgot to mention one other thing: Life Coaching is a relationship. My clients and I get to know one another pretty well and, while we both take its purpose seriously, I make sure that we still manage to have a good time in the process. Getting what you want is very satisfying, even if it comes with an occasionally sore rear end!

Mitch’s Saga: The Beat Begins

This continues the saga of my journey into the world of adult, consensual spanking. The previously posted recollections focused on my growing interest and fantasy. Now, it was time for the paddle to meet flesh.

In the last chapter of my journey from being an innocent vanilla guy to becoming a full-fledged spankophile, I was at a support group’s weekly meeting. That session’s focus on Victorian discipline and corporal punishment confirmed that I was not alone with such needs. The knowledge that the group had a spanking sub-group cinched the deal.

A few days later, I returned to the meeting room to join about a dozen folks interested in spanking. The leader and her male mate welcomed me, and we chatted for a bit. I looked at the assorted implements on display with keen interest and picked up a few. Yes, they looked painful yet exciting.

The session started and after some discussion and questions, the leader asked for a volunteer for a demonstration. No one volunteered so she pointed directly at me and said: “You, up here now! You were so interested in the implements.” With butterflies and a lot of fear, I struggled up to her and was directed to go OTK. So, I did while fully clothed and most likely blushing.

After delivering a few sharp hand spanks, the leader announced she “could not do this” and ordered me up. Wow, that was easy, I concluded. Wrong! The “this” she couldn’t do was spank over clothes. “Pants down around your ankles. Underwear, too” were the next words I heard.

With embarrassment, I did as directed. Being ordered back OTK, I now realized I was in deep yogurt. My legs were effectively tied together by my jeans and underwear, and I was totally immobilized when her leg wrapped over mine. I was now bare ass, bottom up, over the lap of someone I had just met and who was going to spank me. And, in front of strangers.

And spank me she did! Hand, paddle, hairbrush and strap were used to demonstrate the proper technique and their effect. My “virgin” bottom felt like a thousand bee stings, but I did not cry. In retrospect, I learned that this first adult spanking was truly not that intense and certainly not as severe as could be delivered.

The woman who led this sub-group and I became friends, and she spanked me several other times much more intensely until our paths sent us in different geographic directions. At our last meeting, she said she had never truly punished me. I thought otherwise although she said I never earned her absolute punishment spanking. I was aghast and thankful since what she had done was painful enough … or so I thought.

Believe it or not, I do not think I have ever received a bona fide punishment spanking. See what a good boy I am? Yeah, right. I know I (do?) deserve it but have been spared so far. Anyone know a good practitioner of the art?

See also: